I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
