that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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