That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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