9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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