I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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