Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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