Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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