In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
