I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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