Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
