Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
