Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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