is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
