I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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