i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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