our cab driver is having phone sex.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
