don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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