It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
