Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
