And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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