toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My balls are so social today.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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