You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
