Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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