I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
