thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
