did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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