I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
