They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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