Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
