My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
