Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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