I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
