if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
