Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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