Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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