you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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