I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
