I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
