she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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