It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can I color on your dick again?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
