I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
