After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
