It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
