All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
