sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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