I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize