She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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