the new term for farting is butt boxing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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