Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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