And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
