if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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