i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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