he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
