Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
