think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
