the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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