You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize