:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize