yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
