Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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