if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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