I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
