So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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