All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
