just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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