So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize