Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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