No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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