is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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