So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
